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The, uh, The Bass

7/31/2009 12:00:00 AM

NME has a list of the top bass players in rock, and ONCE AGAIN, I have been snubbed. This marks the 379th consecutive "Best Bass Player" list I have not been ranked on. This is an outrage! Meh.


7/29/2009 12:00:00 AM

Finally! The Obama birth certificate nonsense can be settled. Here's a scan of his Kenyan birth certificate.

Drinking Buddy

7/28/2009 12:00:00 AM

Man comes home to find his drinking buddy dead!
Careful, Stim.

The Cleveland Police Chief's Office is labeling the death as "suspected violence," at this time.

That's what I want on my death certificate: "Suspected Violence"... then again, there's still the classic "Death by Misadventure"... or "Sexed to death by Megan Fox"

Miserable failure

7/21/2009 12:00:00 AM

Cleveland City Cops

7/17/2009 12:00:00 AM

Notice the empty streets

Cleveland cops almost get into a shootout with state prison guards.

The description of events in that story is nuts! Cleveland police arrested a prison guard at the prison, then threw him in jail. And they almost shot another one! It doesn't help that one of the guards said he'd kill the cops when he saw them again. But man, that's pretty crazy. It sounds like something out of a movie.

Just another day in paradise!



7/15/2009 12:00:00 AM

This sucks. The Phantasy night club burned down last night. This is the place where Trent Reznor played his first gigs, and where The Trippers started their rise to regional glory. Hopefully Michelle and her family can get it up and running again :(

Not a good week for The Trippers, as their (former?) guitar player is awaiting his verdict in a student sex scandal. He's facing some serious charges, hopefully things turn out okay.

Walker Texas Ranger

7/13/2009 12:00:00 AM

Liam can walk now! We took a stroll through his Uncle Dan's backyard.


Worst thing ever? "Cap and Trade". I'm not sure I can find anybody who actually thinks this is a good idea. Environmentalists hate it, and energy companies hate it. Who exactly is this bill for? Wall Street, for one... that's about it, and I guess those guys need jobs too, so meh. It's only gonna create a sexy new market for "carbon credits", make my gas bill go up by a thousand bucks whilst doing absolutely nothing to change anything about the temperature. Sooooooooo stupid.

YES! Now we have to feel guilty for using computers, too! They give off carbon dioxide! Oh the noes!!! Let's just stop all human activity until we get to some arbitrary safe point that Al Gore made up. Wheee!!!!

Oh, anyone notice how mild this summer has been? I'm sure it has everything to do with the green bumper sticker on the SUV I parked next to today.


7/10/2009 12:00:00 AM

We took Liam to the zoo on his birthday, and were treated to a monkey jacking off. Good times! Nobody noticed until I started giggling uncontrollably. Then Liam started laughing too.


I also saved Liam from being eaten by a T. Rex!

Then we went to Toys R Us for a birthday shopping spree! Liam got a crown and a balloon, and they even announced his name over the p.a. He had no clue what was going on.

Liam had a single-serving ice cream cake! He loved it.


7/8/2009 12:00:00 AM

Liam turns one year old today!

We have an exciting day at the Zoo planned! Then a Toys R Us shopping spree!

Also, check out for a picture from (almost) every day of his life :)

I used to be a cardiologist

7/7/2009 12:00:00 AM

Yesterday around 8am I started having really intense pain in my left chest, then a tingling sensation running down my arm, resulting in the numbness of my fingers. It didn't take a scientologist to recognize these are signs of a heart attack. I could still move and breathe and stuff, so I drove myself to the emergency room to make sure I wasn't about to drop dead.

I had told others I've been having a similar sensation all weekend. It started about late Thursday, just a slight numbness on my left side.

Well, I got an EKG, blood tests, a CAT scan, and a chest X-Ray - the EKG and X-rays show my heart is in tip-top shape, the CAT scan shows my brain is perfect (despite watching Fox News), and the blood tests show I'm a vampire's wet dream. My blood pressure is just about where it should be. No heart attack, no stroke. So what was it??

The pain is still there today, but not as intense. I think now that I know it's not a heart attack, some of the stress is gone. The doctor said I may have just crushed some nerve somewhere on my left side, and it's freaking out right now, but needds time to heal. He likened it to hitting your funny bone and then having to wait a few days for the feeling to die down. Hopefully he's right. I've got a lot more ranting to rave. Raving to rant? Rants Redux?

© billy meade 2016