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Oh, Batman!

4/24/2014 10:42:19 AM

This is the greatest thing I've seen this week:

Don't Bring Me Down

4/17/2014 11:16:00 AM

So today, I look like Jeff Lynne.

Charlie Murphy

4/16/2014 7:44:50 AM

Shelter Song

3/26/2014 1:25:44 PM

This song is radical! Temples - Shelter Song

Bah Gawd

3/12/2014 6:50:21 PM

This is fantastic - Fail compilation with wrestling commentary

4 months!

2/25/2014 11:46:49 AM

Valerie is about 4 months old! That went very fast. Here's what all my kids looked like at 4 months... It'd be neat to do this for their whole lives and have a giant mural or something. Hmm. They definitely like being bald!

Val 4 mos Evie 4 mos Liam 4 mos

Leon Bibb

2/17/2014 9:17:58 AM

Leon Bibb says "titties." I giggle uncontrollably.


2/7/2014 9:54:20 AM

Hi Valerie! "Hi,!"

Week from Hell

2/3/2014 6:50:52 PM

"Honey, is the crotch on these pants tight enough?" "Yep!"

Being a homeowner has its perks. You can poop anywhere you want. Huffing paint isn't as shameful. I frequently drill holes in things just to prove a point.

However, being a homeowner also can be a colossal pain in the arse. Liam was lucky enough to get three days off of school last week, due to El Nino or whatever they named the storm this time (do we really need to name every storm? Media sucks). On Tuesday night, the coldest night of them all, I noticed that the heater had not turned on for a bit. Then I looked at the thermostat and saw that the house had dropped from a cozy 68 to 63 degrees. I'll never understand why that feels so cold in a house, but whatever, 63 is freezing. I had to go downstairs and manually restart the furnace. It ran just fine.

For an hour.

Then it stopped again, barely geting the house up to 64 degrees. Then I started panicking. My biggest fear is not being able to provide for my family, and here I am on one of the coldest days in history with a broken furnace. I manually restarted the system again, it ran for a few hours, got the house up to 66. By this time it was about midnight. I didn't know who to call, so we just put some extra blankets on the kids and waited til morning.

Fortunately in the morning, Fairview Heating and Cooling were able to come right away and fix everything up. The system just needed a cleaning and a new heating element. Since then, it's been running better than it ever has! So, go them. They were super nice and not very expensive ($147 for cleaning and heating element and labor!).

Me, Becky and Evelina enjoying the furnace, just before our Cheerios


Until Sunday morning. Oh, the heat is working just fine... but every time the toilet was flushed (which is every 30 seconds in our freaking house), I heard a gurgling sound. Sadly, I knew what that meant, so I went to the basement, and sure enough, our sewer was backed up. Here I am on Super Bowl Sunday with two poop-happy children and now we can't use the toilet, or any water for that matter. So I'm freaking out again. The last time we had a drain stoppage cost us $938 to get it fixed. But... it's not like we could just wait it out, so Roto-Rooter to the rescue. Sorta.

The first guy never showed up. After 4 hours I called, turns out he spun out on the highway and was in the hospital. Sad as that is, I had to poop, and nothing stands between me and my doody. They sent another guy, and he never showed because they gave him the wrong address!! Now I'm livid. Finally after about 8 hours of waiting, a dude shows up. He was super cool and got things flowing again.

Shitty... in more ways than one.

The culprit was those flushable wipes that childrens' asses are so fond of. When he pulled the rigid steel snake from the gaping sewer tunnel (hi Stim!), it came with a huge clump of wipes. Gross. So, if your house is 100 years old, don't use those wipes. Damage done: $277. Yee-owch.

So that's my week. Instead of dining on shrimp ka-bobs and french nurses, I was watching sweaty men abuse my houses most sacred orifices.

"Yep. I fucked your house."


1/20/2014 6:56:18 PM

A day late, but Happy 6th Anniversary to my beautiful wife! See ya tonight... WINK, WINK (we're going to Target)


© billy meade 2014